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When People Think You Are Dying

I received an interesting email from a friend this week.  It said he had heard I had relapsed and he wanted to get together and go to lunch.  I was really appreciative of the invitation but started to wonder why he thought I had relapsed.  I spoke with this friend who told me that he heard through someone else that I was "terminal" and that I only had a few months to live.  He also told me that this message had been received by many in an announcement made at a meeting.  I was a little shocked!  First that someone heard I was dying and second that I mattered enough to have it announced!  I assured my friend that I was doing just fine and that I was not "dying".  I told him that I had no new re-occurrence of melanoma and that my treatments were going just fine.  This made me start to think about life in general and how we communicate!

In regards to communication, I learned how this information was obtained.  It was taken out of context by another friend.  It is amazing how words can be interpreted by others and how messages sent are not always messages received.  I have learned that "cancer" has such a powerful connection with death and not with survival!  This connection assists people in interpreting "news" about people they know with cancer towards the "news" leading towards death instead of live and recovery.  I have seen many at HCI "living" with cancer.  Some are much more sick than myself.  Some may even die in the next few months from cancer but all are living at this moment!  I have "lived" with cancer for 7 years (almost 11 years now).  I have met several people who have "lived" with cancer for over 10 years.  Most of us have no idea when the disease may progress or if it will lead to our death.  I have learned that "karma" is real and not to mess with "karma"!  I don't deny the existence of my disease but I don't give the disease power over my life nor do I tempt "karma" by dwelling on the disease or denying the existence of the disease.  I have learned that life is about moments!  Lifes change in small moments each and every day.  One moment deemed bad by the individual can ruin the entire day (like time running out on the Cougars as they lose again!  This moment, for some, even threatens their eternal salvation!), or a moment deemed inspirational or good can change the whole outcome of an individuals day (like those inspirational emails we all get and are told to continue to pass on!)  Life is about moments, live each moment, learn from each moment, and love each moment - your response to these "moments" define your life!

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  1. Not a soccer momSeptember 29, 2010 at 7:49 AM

    Hey Craig,
    I think it is that horrible thing that ewe call shock value. People love to tell a good story and the more shocking or sad the better.
    Sorry that you were the subject of such.
    Been a long time. So glad to hear that all is well. Terminal or not, cancer is a scary thing.
    I wish you health and happiness
    Shani

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